I posted a version of Funny Peculiar three years ago. A home DVD viewing of a documentary about the English comedian Tommy Cooper followed by an impassioned debate between the three Brits (including myself), two Americans and a Canadian inspired its re-posting.
Much is made of the supposedly yawning gulf between the North American and British senses of humour. In these post-Friends, post-Seinfeld days it seems pretty much a non-issue. In fact, most of the people who are enlightened enough to share my view on things would agree that there are more laughs per square minute in the above two sit-coms than in one arid hour of the home-grown equivalent. Leaving aside the unaccountably bizarre liking that Americans are reported to have for the grotesquely unfunny Benny Hill and the creakily archaic Are You Being Served?, it's generally reckoned over here that they're calling the shots comedy-wise.
There are, however, two areas of British comic taste which, I am informed, continue to baffle Americans. Where puns and ironic self-deprecation will have Brits incontinent with laughter, Americans will tend to remain stony-faced. One can only speculate concerning what this tells us about the two cultures, but I suspect that it reveals more about the Brits than it does about the Americans. Underpinning both, I believe, is that enduring, indeed, endearing British insistence on the ramshackle and amateur as having greater intrinsic worth than the sleek and professional. This curiously potent relic from a time when in cricket and rugby football there were Gentlemen and Players – when to take money, or even immoderate praise, for activities that really ought to be undertaken purely for the sake of doing them – still informs so much of what British culture is all about. So the cockeyed comedy of The Fast Show how (maybe largely unknown in the States but beloved of Johnny Depp), Eddie Izzard, Paul Merton and - from the ancient days of variety - the doyen of them all, the late Tommy Cooper carries much of this prevailing influence within it. We are laughing at heroic failure, cheerful incompetence, beautiful losers who can’t get it right but who radiate a sort of nobility for even trying in the first place.
The following gags were sent to me by a friend who knew that they would have the same effect on me as they did on him. And he was right. For reasons that I can only guess at in the light of the above speculations, they had me helpless. The one about the cross-eyed dog and the vet did for me completely and has been mailed to countless uncomprehending pals who are now concerned for the balance of my mind.
If any of you have equally inane one or two-liners, please let me know. It would make me feel so much better about myself…
Two peanuts walk into a rather rough bar, not looking for any trouble. Unfortunately, one was a salted.
A sandwich walks into a bar. The barman says, "Sorry we don't serve food in here".
A dyslexic man walks into a bra...
A man goes to a fancy dress party dressed only in his Y-fronts. A woman comes up to him and ask: "What are you supposed to be?"
The man says, "A premature ejaculation."
"Er...explain," demands the woman.
The man says: "I've just come in my pants."
Two aerials meet on a roof, fall in love get married. The ceremony was rubbish but the reception was brilliant.
Two ogres are eating a clown. One asks the other: "Does this taste funny to you?"
A man with a strawberry stuck up his ass goes to the doctor. The Doctor says, "I'll give you some cream to put on it."
"Doc, I can't stop singing The Green, Green Grass of Home."
"That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome."
"Is it common?"
"Well… It's not unusual”.
Two cows standing next to each other in a field. Daisy says to Dolly, "I was artificially inseminated this morning."
"I don't believe you," says Dolly.
"It's true, straight up, no bull!"
A guy walks into the psychiatrist wearing only a pair of cling film shorts. The shrink says, "Well, I can clearly see you're nuts."
Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar. One says, "I think I've lost an electron."
The other asks, "Are you sure?"
The first replies, "Yes, I'm positive."
Answerphone message: "If you want to buy marijuana, press the hash key".
A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet and says, "My dog's cross-eyed. Is there anything you can do for him?"
"Well," says the vet, "let's have a look at him".
So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then checks his teeth. Finally, he says, "I'm afraid I’m going to have to put him down"
"What? Just because he's cross-eyed?"
"No, because he's really heavy"
I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day. I looked around the store but I couldn't find any.
I went to the butchers the other day and I bet him £50 that he couldn't reach the meat off the top shelf. He stepped back, took a look and said, "No, you're right, the steaks are too high."
My friend drowned in a bowl of muesli. He was pulled in by a strong currant.
A man came round in hospital after a serious accident.
“Doctor, doctor!” he shouts. “I can't feel my legs!"
The doctor replied, "I know you can't. I had to amputate your arms".
I went to a really energetic fancy dress ‘come-as-seafood’ party last week and pulled a mussel.
A man walks into a doctor's surgery.
"What seems to be the problem?" asks the doc.
"It's ... um ... well ... I have five penises", replies the man.
"Blimey!" says the doctor. "How do your trousers fit?"
"Like a glove."
Our ice cream man was found lying on the floor of his van covered with hundreds and thousands. Police say that he topped himself.
Deja moo: the feeling that you've heard this bullshit before.
I recognise for the second time that in revealing the vapidity and puerility of one's sense of humour, one risks dramatic reassessment (or maybe confirmation) of all other salient features of one's personality. But here's the meditation again, complete with knee-weakening gags, probing that elastic boundary that both links and separates our dual cultures.
...
Much is made of the supposedly yawning gulf between the North American and British senses of humour. In these post-Friends, post-Seinfeld days it seems pretty much a non-issue. In fact, most of the people who are enlightened enough to share my view on things would agree that there are more laughs per square minute in the above two sit-coms than in one arid hour of the home-grown equivalent. Leaving aside the unaccountably bizarre liking that Americans are reported to have for the grotesquely unfunny Benny Hill and the creakily archaic Are You Being Served?, it's generally reckoned over here that they're calling the shots comedy-wise.
There are, however, two areas of British comic taste which, I am informed, continue to baffle Americans. Where puns and ironic self-deprecation will have Brits incontinent with laughter, Americans will tend to remain stony-faced. One can only speculate concerning what this tells us about the two cultures, but I suspect that it reveals more about the Brits than it does about the Americans. Underpinning both, I believe, is that enduring, indeed, endearing British insistence on the ramshackle and amateur as having greater intrinsic worth than the sleek and professional. This curiously potent relic from a time when in cricket and rugby football there were Gentlemen and Players – when to take money, or even immoderate praise, for activities that really ought to be undertaken purely for the sake of doing them – still informs so much of what British culture is all about. So the cockeyed comedy of The Fast Show how (maybe largely unknown in the States but beloved of Johnny Depp), Eddie Izzard, Paul Merton and - from the ancient days of variety - the doyen of them all, the late Tommy Cooper carries much of this prevailing influence within it. We are laughing at heroic failure, cheerful incompetence, beautiful losers who can’t get it right but who radiate a sort of nobility for even trying in the first place.
The following gags were sent to me by a friend who knew that they would have the same effect on me as they did on him. And he was right. For reasons that I can only guess at in the light of the above speculations, they had me helpless. The one about the cross-eyed dog and the vet did for me completely and has been mailed to countless uncomprehending pals who are now concerned for the balance of my mind.
If any of you have equally inane one or two-liners, please let me know. It would make me feel so much better about myself…
Two peanuts walk into a rather rough bar, not looking for any trouble. Unfortunately, one was a salted.
A sandwich walks into a bar. The barman says, "Sorry we don't serve food in here".
A dyslexic man walks into a bra...
A man goes to a fancy dress party dressed only in his Y-fronts. A woman comes up to him and ask: "What are you supposed to be?"
The man says, "A premature ejaculation."
"Er...explain," demands the woman.
The man says: "I've just come in my pants."
Two aerials meet on a roof, fall in love get married. The ceremony was rubbish but the reception was brilliant.
Two ogres are eating a clown. One asks the other: "Does this taste funny to you?"
A man with a strawberry stuck up his ass goes to the doctor. The Doctor says, "I'll give you some cream to put on it."
"Doc, I can't stop singing The Green, Green Grass of Home."
"That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome."
"Is it common?"
"Well… It's not unusual”.
Two cows standing next to each other in a field. Daisy says to Dolly, "I was artificially inseminated this morning."
"I don't believe you," says Dolly.
"It's true, straight up, no bull!"
A guy walks into the psychiatrist wearing only a pair of cling film shorts. The shrink says, "Well, I can clearly see you're nuts."
Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar. One says, "I think I've lost an electron."
The other asks, "Are you sure?"
The first replies, "Yes, I'm positive."
Answerphone message: "If you want to buy marijuana, press the hash key".
A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet and says, "My dog's cross-eyed. Is there anything you can do for him?"
"Well," says the vet, "let's have a look at him".
So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then checks his teeth. Finally, he says, "I'm afraid I’m going to have to put him down"
"What? Just because he's cross-eyed?"
"No, because he's really heavy"
I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day. I looked around the store but I couldn't find any.
I went to the butchers the other day and I bet him £50 that he couldn't reach the meat off the top shelf. He stepped back, took a look and said, "No, you're right, the steaks are too high."
My friend drowned in a bowl of muesli. He was pulled in by a strong currant.
A man came round in hospital after a serious accident.
“Doctor, doctor!” he shouts. “I can't feel my legs!"
The doctor replied, "I know you can't. I had to amputate your arms".
I went to a really energetic fancy dress ‘come-as-seafood’ party last week and pulled a mussel.
A man walks into a doctor's surgery.
"What seems to be the problem?" asks the doc.
"It's ... um ... well ... I have five penises", replies the man.
"Blimey!" says the doctor. "How do your trousers fit?"
"Like a glove."
Our ice cream man was found lying on the floor of his van covered with hundreds and thousands. Police say that he topped himself.
Deja moo: the feeling that you've heard this bullshit before.
