THE ACME SELF-ANALYSIS KIT

This psychological profile test has been rolling around the Internet for a few years now. Supposedly the legendary Dr. Phil introduced it on an episode of Oprah. We are informed that it’s a real test administered by the personnel departments of a number of major corporations as a means of assessing the current psychological status & future potential of employees.

I sneered my way around it for a while & then did it ‘just for a laugh’. I invite you to do just the same. Results to be posted in a day or two.

1. When do you feel your best?

a) in the morning
b) during the afternoon and early evening
c) late at night

2. You usually walk:

a) fairly fast, with long steps    
b) fairly fast, with little steps
c) less fast head up, looking the world in the face
d) less fast, head down
e) very slowly

3. When talking to people you:

a) stand with your arms folded
b) have your hands clasped
c) have one or both your hands on your hips
d) touch or push the person to whom you are talking
e) play with your ear, touch your chin, or smooth your hair

4. When relaxing, you sit with

a) your knees bent with your legs neatly side by side
b) your legs crossed
c) your legs stretched out or straight
d) one leg curled under you

5. When something really amuses you, you react with

a) a big, appreciative laugh
b) a laugh, but not a loud one
c) a quiet chuckle
d) a sheepish smile

6. When you go to a party or social gathering, you:

a) make a loud entrance so everyone notices you
b) make a quiet entrance, looking around for someone you know
c) make the quietest entrance, trying to stay unnoticed

7. You're working very hard, concentrating hard, and you're interrupted, do you:

a) welcome the break
b) feel extremely irritated
c) vary between these two extremes

8. Which of the following colours do you like most?

a) Red or orange
b) black
c) yellow or light blue
d) green
e) dark blue or purple
f) white
g) brown or grey

9. When you are in bed at night, in those last few moments before going to sleep, you lie:

a) stretched out on your back
b) stretched out face down on your stomach
c) on your side, slightly curled
d) with your head on one arm
e) with your head under the covers

10. You often dream that you are:

a) falling
b) fighting or struggling
c) searching for something or somebody
d) flying or floating
e) you usually have dreamless sleep
f) your dreams are always pleasant.

POINTS:

1. (a) 2   (b) 4    (c) 6

2. (a) 6   (b) 4    (c) 7   (d) 2 (e) 1

3. (a) 4   (b) 2    (c) 5   (d) 7   (e) 6

4. (a) 4   (b) 6    (c) 2   (d) 1

5. (a) 6   (b) 4    (c) 3   (d) 5   (e) 2

6. (a) 6   (b) 4    (c) 2

7. (a) 6   (b) 2    (c) 4

8. (a) 6   (b) 7    (c) 5   (d) 4   (e) 3   (f) 2   (g) 1

9. (a) 7   (b) 6    (c) 4 (d) 2   (e) 1

10. (a) 4   (b) 2   (c) 3   (d) 5   (e) 6   (f) 1

Now add up the total number of points & wait patiently.