GEOFF’S DOUBLE WHAMMY!
Following hard on the heels of yesterday’s rib-tickler comes this selection from our man in BC. Apparently they are the winning entries in the 2006 Washington Post Mensa Invitational for neologisms constructed from existing words, the challenge being to add or subtract a letter from the original in the devising of the new.
One or two of them I know to predate 2006. And I suspect that none of them have graced the pages of the Washington Post. But who’s counting? Some of them are touched with genius.
1. Cashtration (n. ): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.
2. Ignoranus (n.): A person who's both stupid and an asshole.
3. Intaxication (n.): Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.
4. Reintarnation (n.): Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
5. Bozone (n. ): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The Bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
6 Foreploy (n.): Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.
7. Giraffiti (n.): Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
8. Sarchasm (n.): The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.
9. Inoculatte (v.): To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
10. Hipatitis (n.): Terminal coolness.
11. Osteopornosis (n.): A degenerate disease.
12. Karmageddon (n.): It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.
13. Decafalon (n. ): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
14. Glibido (n.): All talk and no action.
15. Dopeler effect (n.): The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
16. Arachnoleptic fit (n. ): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.
17. Beelzebug (n. ): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
18. Caterpallor (n. ): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.